Texas Fish and Game Label Pit Bulls “Invasive Species”, Starts Open Season

San Antonio, TX. Texas Fish and Game Commission labeled Pit Bulls as an “Invasive Species” and started an open hunting season on the dog breed. This controversial move has animal rights activists roiled and they vow to fight the new law but Fish and Game spokesman Mark McWrath says the law was necessary.

Legalizing a dog hunting season has generally been political suicide, but the law has received welcome.
Legalizing a dog hunting season has generally been political suicide, but this law has received welcome.
© Patryk Kosmider – Fotolia.com

“Due to the findings of some recent research we have concluded that the Pit Bull is an invasive species because it meets the requirements set forth by the Fish and Game Commission to qualify as such.” McWrath said, “The Pit Bull is not native to Texas, it is not fluffy, lovable, or cute, and it attacks things at random. Therefore it’s in our best interest to eliminate the Pit Bull population in our state.”

When challenged as to why the Commission couldn’t have simply asked the owners to turn in the dogs McWrath said, “Pit Bull owners are under the delusion that their dogs are harmless even after the dogs have been known to attack children, the elderly, other dogs, and even stationary objects like telephone poles and parked cars. Pit Bull owners, like their pets, are violent when challenged.” He concluded by saying that the only option was creating a way to eliminate the dogs without the owners consent.

Since Pit Bulls have been classified as an invasive species it is legal to hunt for them any time of the year. You may not hunt them with automatic weapons but any other firearm is legal. Hunting within city limits is permissible only if the hunter is using a bow and arrow or crossbow and great care must be taken not to hit the person walking the dog, with the exception of acting in self defense.

Mary is the president of “Pit Bulls Are Friends” dog club. “Oh, my Pit Bull would never hurt a fly,” She pointed through the patio door to inside her home where Chompers, her Pit Bull, was tearing holes in the couch. “It would devestate me if someone shot my poor wittle Chomper-chomps. Sure, he may be unpredictable but deep down Chompers is a great dog,” She said.

Jonathon Monroe, an avid hunter and outdoor enthusiast, is happy about the new hunting season. “It’ll make walks to the park much more interesting,” he says. “I just bought a new bow and I can’t wait to get out there and go hunting. I’ll be having fun and helping my community at the same time.”

Whatever the sentiment may be, the lines to buy hunting licenses at the local shop were out of the door.

McWrath praises the new hunting season. “It’s a common sense solution that raises revenue and solves a real problem. Plus, I can now take my Chihuahua to the park without it being messily devoured.”

16 thoughts on “Texas Fish and Game Label Pit Bulls “Invasive Species”, Starts Open Season

  1. Wow… Dalmations are terrible with kids too, should we shoot them? How many people kill other people on a daily basis, whens the open season on that start? Stupid Texas morons

    1. Well, since a pit freak showed up (they troll the internet looking for anything that might possibly insult their child-killing grippers, and believe me, they have no sense of humor about it), for the record I’ll point this out. In the thirty-some year period since 1982, pit bull types and mixes have killed 312 people. Dalmatians killed ZERO people in that same period.

    2. Statistically that is not true… please back up your statements with reliable facts and data not just pulled out of the air.

    3. No because Dalmatians don’t kill people on the average every 14 days in the US. Pit bulls alone KILL over three times as many people as the next most vicious breed, the Rottweiler.

  2. That’s a Boston Terrier, not a Pit Bull.
    However, considering the farce, I guess it’s appropriate,

    1. The stock file said French Bulldog, but it’s all technicalities. I just liked the dumb expression on the dog. And yea, this is a fake article… so… not sure if that’s sarcastic outrage or not.

  3. Texas finally catches up with the rest of the nation. Since sane occupants of the nation adopted this resolution (the rest of us did it in July 2013), more than 265 roaming, mauling pitties in a tutu have been shot dead. Shelters where fur-mommies constantly dump pittie-poo have expressed gratitude, since it relieves their burden a tiny bit.

  4. 2013, Dalmatians escape and attack passerby.
    Two year old girl attacked by family dalmatian needs 40 stitches to face.
    2009 MN man attacked by dalmatian, severely bitten.
    “Dalmatians have been known to cause fatal injuries perhaps due to poor breeding, inexperienced owners and a tendency towards fear biting due to deafness within the breed.

    1. Pit bulls attack people REGULARLY. On the average every 14 days in the US someone dies in a pit bull attack, and every 5.6 days someone loses a body part in a pit bull attack. Dalmatians attack people RARELY. The difference is critical. Pit bulls alone have KILLED more people than every other breed COMBINED, every single decade since 1851. fatalpitbullattacks.com

  5. When Texas Pit Bull breeder Steven Woods got in trouble for his Pit Bull Mimi attacking a neighbor, he whipped out the disabled veteran, PTSD -Pit Bull Service dog card. Soon pictures of Tu-Tu wearing Mimi were all over the internet and gullible Pit Advocates raised $17, 000 for his legal fight against “The Man”. Woods even had the balls to wear his uniform for his court appearance. Later. the National Guard revealed that Woods had never served in Iraq or Afghanistan, and in fact that he had never deployed anywhere. Even though Woods and the Pit Bull community saved man biting Mimi, she was euthanized after attacking another neighbor 8 months later. This time Woods didn’t show up for court.

    In 1991 The Texas Legislature superceded community’s ability to regulate Pit Bulls, thereby by keeping breeders like Woods in business. In the years since, 30 Texans have been killed by Pit Bulls and hundreds have been “merely” horribly mauled. Can I get a good ol’ Texas “BSL Never Works“ Hell Yeah?!?

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