Uzbekistan and Tajikistan Avert War by Playing High Stakes Game of ‘Call of Duty’

The leaders of Uzbekistan (right) and Tajikistan (left) take to the virtual world to solve real world problems.
The leaders of Uzbekistan (right) and Tajikistan (left) take to the virtual world to solve real world problems.

According to the Uzbekistan newspaper State of the Country, which belongs to Uzbekistan’s state run media, a war between Tajikistan and Uzbekistan was averted last month when the two country’s leaders sat down and resolved their differences over a high stakes game of Call of Duty: Black Ops II, an internationally best selling video game.

The situation began when Stevan Rkashaw, the Prime Minister of Tajikistan, began making war plans against Uzbekistan after Uzbekistan built a 476 acre landfill just over the border between the two countries. The President of Uzbekistan, Victor Tcheveksy, offered the high stakes video game deal to the War Council of Tajikistan after Tcheveksy’s advisors told him he did not have the resources to wage a war.

Tajikistan accepted the offer and the two countries met on the border at a special convention with the agreement that the loser must maintain the newly sanctioned landfill. The match took place on a brand new Xbox 360 console that was sealed in it’s packaging up until the last moment to insure that the game console was not tampered with. The match would be won by the best of five ten minute Xbox live games.

Sources close to the situation say that while the convention was waiting for the hundreds of large Xbox updates to be installed the two leaders had some time to sip coffee, bake cookies, and talk about politics. The sources say that the leaders shared some common frustration over the length of updates that were stalling the big game and they began to establish a friendly relationship over a common problem.

Reportedly Tajikistan won the initial match but both sides say they weren’t paying attention by the fifth game. A member of the Uzbekistan Imperial Guard who helped oversee the games but wishes to remain anonymous said through a translator, “By the fourth game both leaders were caught up in the race to unlock bigger guns and forgot why they were even angry at each other.”

Pummel others with your wisdom!