NYC Bans Horse Drawn Carriages but Okays Carriages Likely Pulled by Homeless

Mayor Diblasio champions human pulled carriages.
Mayor Diblasio champions human pulled carriages.
Tupungato |

New York City, NY. Mayor DiBlasio, who was just sworn into office yesterday, has already laid out plans banning horse drawn carriages in New York City but has given the green light to carts pulled by humans most of whom will likely come from the homeless population of the city.

DiBlasio cites income inequality as one of many reasons behind the new ruling claiming that third world countrys, which typically have a low common income, feature human powered taxi services. DiBlasio said, “This is just the first of many steps I’m taking to insure the income inequality is leveled out so we are as close to a third world country as possible.”

DiBlasio is hoping for further income reform which will eventually require residents of New York City who make over fifty thousand dollars annually to pull the carriages for minimum wage on the weekends while the normal pullers have off.

Mayor DiBlasio also cites animal cruelty as the catalyst for the “new direction” for the city. DiBlasio said, “Animals have no choice in the matter. Humans can make a voluntary choice to participate and therefore it wouldn’t be unethical. It would actually boost the economy and provide much needed employment for the least fortunate of our citizens.”

Many homeless people have already been lining up for the job saying they are the most qualified since they smell and look the most like actual horses. That advantage may not be important as the city has said that wearing a horse costume would be acceptable for the carriage puller. *


*Mayor DiBlasio never actually said these things, it’s all made up (except for the banning horses part, he actually did that). Don’t be gullible.

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