Website Glitch Buys 175,000 Enrollees Chevy Volts

The Department of Health and Human Services yesterday announced yet another “glitch” with the website saying that the website enrollment process accidentally ordered brand new Chevrolet Volts, an electric car, for 175,000 enrollees.

A screenshot of the Chevrolet's website promoting the Volt.
A screenshot of the Chevrolet’s website promoting the Volt.

The mix up in the government database apparently happened during the governments debt takeover of General Motors, the parent company of Chevrolet.

Allegedly many clueless enrollees have been recieving the Volts in the middle of the night or early morning hours.

Don Blitz, salesperson with Blair Chevrolet in Detroit, MI, claims that customers usually resist the delivery of the new Volts. “They come out and say, ‘No, no, no. We didn’t order this.’ We try to explain that we have to deliver it because the government is making us. We found the best way to get around these uncomfortable encounters is to deliver the Volts when the new owners are sleeping.” He adds, “It’s odd that people don’t want to accept a new car.”

The resistance may come from the Volt’s rumored tendency to spontaneously combust after an accident. In a recent survey 97% of people who were asked listed their least preferred method of death as “Burnt Alive.”

Jerry Lutz, a tech adviser with Consumer Reviews, says, “The idea, even if it isn’t backed by facts, of being torched inside a car that has just hit a stray dog is probably the biggest reason people are being resistant to receiving free cars, in this case the Chevy Volt, on the taxpayers dime.”

Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sibelius says that the accidental government sponsored car giveaway can be viewed in a positive light. She says, “This means we now have 175,000 people that have actually managed to get through the minor website glitches and get signed up for affordable health care.” She continued, “It’s also why the cost of the website was slightly higher than our projections.”

The cost of the website is well over six hundred million dollars.

The CEO of GM could not be reached for comment. Inquiries to his email address only returned automated messages that read, “On Vacation.”

Chevrolet car dealers have had a hard time keeping their infernos under control. © MacX -
97% of Americans claim they do not want to be burned alive.
© MacX –

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