Smucker Village, Intercourse, PA. I hear you can be addicted to caffeine. I’m pretty sure I’m not since I only need it to maintain vital bodily function.
I drive all over the place for my job. Since I can’t afford to buy kegs of energy drink I generally keep myself alive and awake by buying cheap gas station “coffee.” The process of drinking copious amounts of coffee requires a lot of bathroom breaks since your body cannot hold processed coffee indefinitely. These bathroom breaks usually occur at gas stations since going behind bushes alongside the highway is apparently illegal, unfortunately. I use these breaks to buy more coffee so I can keep my kidneys and brain functioning long enough to stop at the next gas station. And so the process continues.
You can imagine my chagrin, then, when I’m driving through the middle of the town of Intercourse and there isn’t a gas station anywhere. This is a problem because I can hear my heart rate slowing down, my eyes are getting heavy, and my bladder feels like it’s a weather balloon filled with settling concrete. Since concrete is one of the primary ingredients in cheap coffee you have to get that stuff out of you before it sits for several hours.
That’s when I realized that the old gas station in Intercourse, right across the street from Kitchen Kettle Village, had been converted into a coffee shop and some sort of antique place. Knowing that coffee shops usually have nice bathrooms I decided to check out the new place on the block which, I deduced from the large letters on the side of the building, was called Corner Coffee Shop.
I noticed was that the joint was really nice with plenty of large tables for laptop space and hip high chairs; the ones where your feet dangle a foot above the floor. It has a nice stone fireplace and is impeccably decorated, which bugged me just a bit. It also has free WiFi (FYI, if you are an Amish, A WiFi is not a pastry that McDonald’s hands out for free) which helps keep my phone bill affordable.
One of the most outstanding things about the Corner Coffee Shop is the gloriously clean bathrooms. It’s like sitting in your own private suite that’s larger than 90% of New York City’s apartments. Since when did you go to the bathroom and find it a thoroughly relaxing experience? Instead of sitting their reading carved messages in the dirty stall walls and trying to keep as much of your posterior off of the toilet seat as possible, you are contemplating the deep, spiritual meaning of life and the ramifications of moral relativity. Having used their facilities, and therefore solving humanity’s problems, I felt compelled to buy some of their product, especially since their product has substantial amounts of caffeine, which I’m totally not addicted to.
I was taken aback by the prices. Four bucks for a cup of Joe? I’m used to sloshing some swill in a cup and calling it good. This was an altogether different experience. They massaged the milk into a warm froth and ground the fresh coffee beans with the hammer of Zeus. Then they married the steamed milk and espresso in a beautiful, touching ceremony that brought tears to the eyes of all those in attendance. Then the emotional barista who presided over the ceremony daintily handed me my coffee, her face awash in reverence at the magic she was holding.
I paid the bill and bit my lower lip, struggling to keep the warm tears inside my eyelids. This was a magical experience and the coffee tasted like a match made in heaven. Sure, it cost me four times what I ever thought a cup of coffee was worth but I’d pay $4 again. Shucks, I would’ve paid them $10 just to use their bathroom.
Corner Coffee Shop is located in the new Smucker Village which is on the opposite side of Rt. 340 from Kitchen Kettle Village. This is the location of the Corner Coffee Shop. Google maps has not updated the imagery since the renovation has taken place:
[hana-code-insert name=’Google maps Corner Coffee’ /]