The 2016 U.S. election accidentally was listed for sale on Ebay early Monday afternoon by U.S. Tech, a private contractor that makes the machines used for voting in the election process, renewing concerns over electronic voting and voter fraud.
The details of the presidential election listing were troubling. The publicly listed reserve was set at two billion dollars and allowed for the winner of the auction to pick the candidates for both parties who would participate in the elaborately planned campaigns. The listing claims that in the unlikely event the winners first picks for candidates refused to participate in the rigged election, U.S. Tech will work their hardest to get the winners next choice in Presidential contenders.
The winner also gets a four year subscription to Air Force One (a private airline operated by Jet Blue), the world’s largest security detail to make him feel important, and plenty of advisers to make the tough decisions with scapegoats lined up to take the blame for situations that went awry. The listing promises the “full Executive experience of the leader of the free world” and comes with “all the bells and whistles” that any puppet leader would ever want including a place in the history books.
Senator Harry Reid (D-NV) quickly began a Congressional Inquiry of U.S. Tech but dropped the matter after he found his privately owned Bahama’s island for sale on Zillow, a massively popular real estate advertising company, at an outrageously low price, saying the recent revelations really “aren’t that big of a deal” and that “nobody complained before they knew about it.”
U.S. Tech also owns the WWE wrestling themed shows. The fact that the elections, which have been the supposed model of democracy for over 200 years, have been run by people who can’t even make a staged bar fight look real has astounded, yet troubled a small amount of citizens who actually turned out to vote.
“It’s maddening to think my vote never counted,” says James, a registered voter in Pennsylvania. “Of course, I can’t remember who I voted for anyway.” James admits he was slightly relieved since he never researched the candidates and just picked the coolest sounding names. “I’m glad I can’t be held responsible for my poor choices.”
Despite the furor that the auction has created it has not been taken down. President Obama praised the transparency of the election auction saying that the process was no longer a secret and that any citizen or corporation who had several billion dollars could now be involved in the direction of the government.
As of late Tuesday evening, Google, Inc had the leading bid on the Ebay auction entitled “2016 U.S. Presidential election” with the search engine Bing trailing with a variety of defeated bids.