Floridians Report Cocaine Like Substance Falling From the Sky

Reports of a cocaine like substance falling from the sky have been popping up all over Florida, along with claims of outer limb numbness, abnormally low body temperatures, and minor body convulsions. Jeb Bush, the Governor of Florida, says that Florida has never seen anything like this before and has declared a state of emergency.

The weird white stuff is slippery and causes people to drive over banks.  © knee0 - Fotolia.com
The weird white stuff is slippery and causes people to drive over banks.
© knee0 – Fotolia.com

Witnesses say that the powder reacts with water giving the surface of the water a hard cold crust that shatters with impact. The substance has been piling up on roadways and flat surfaces causing mass chaos with accidents and major delays occurring all over the northern part of the states highway system.

Speculations abound as to what the white substance is with theories ranging from a fallout from a flour plant explosion to actual Cocaine to a terrorist chemical attack.

Gary Collins lives in Pensacola, FL. He claims the white powder isn’t cocaine since he snorted large amounts of it but didn’t get high. Instead, it gave him a temporary headache which started in the roof of his mouth and traveled to the front of his forehead which caused him to squint his eyes and moan in pain.

Government officials are telling people to put all their T-shirts and tank tops on at once, claiming that lots of fabric tends to reduce the symptoms of the strange weather phenomenon. “If you’re skin is exposed it’s susceptible to the strange symptoms we have seen associated with this white powder,” says Bush.

The large system of blowing white stuff has been spotted all over the southern United States. So far several fatalities have been attributed to the unusual substance and many people are opting to stay indoors rather than take the chance of contracting the unpleasant symptoms that many are victims are reporting.

Many are blaming the government for not being able to control the weather. Churches are packed to their maximum occupancy’s with many people predicting the end of civilization as we know it.

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