Reading Municipal Authority Solves Speeding, Pothole Issue in A One-Two Punch

Reading Municipal Authority has declared victory over the problematic speeders motorists were reporting on the Perkiomen Avenue straightaway.

Hitting the strategically placed potholes when you're exceeding the speed limit can be catastrophic.  © Duncan Noakes - Fotolia.com
Hitting the strategically placed potholes when you’re exceeding the speed limit can be catastrophic.
© Duncan Noakes – Fotolia.com

The officials say that the specialized Teflon coated rocks in the asphalt they used in the road construction are designed to chip and break away in large chunks leaving gaping holes in the roadway. Officials claim that these holes act as naturally occurring speed bumps which force motorists to slow down.

Jay Nights is the Municipal Authority Administrator. He says, “We feel the specialized pavement has performed well and has made a good number of perfectly sized and spaced potholes which, when hit at any higher speed than 25 mph, renders the car mechanically immobile and the driver unconscious.”

Indeed, many tires, axles, and various vehicle components have been appearing in people’s yards, car windshields, and all over Perkiomen Avenue attesting to the fact that the potholes are well designed and fulfilling their role.

The Reading Police Department also gives credit to the new speed control system for increased citations and ticket revenue saying that they follow the evidence trail left behind by speeding citizens. Many motorists have been issued speeding tickets when they reported to Urgent Care centers around Reading complaining of headaches and concussion like symptoms. Police have also been seen patrolling local garages.

The lesson is simple Nights says, “Slow down or else.”

One thought on “Reading Municipal Authority Solves Speeding, Pothole Issue in A One-Two Punch

  1. Yah, the potholes they so bad, I think I maybe buy Hummer and get rid of my Civic. Well I guess the potholes they get rid of Civic already. And my head it really hurt bad right now. Time for Corona! maybe feel better then.

Pummel others with your wisdom!