With February 14 fast approaching, experts note that the cost of True Love, a popular social living arrangement that can be purchased with a dowry of traditional chocolates and flowers, has been on the rise since the inception of Valentines Day, the traditional holiday when available singles would enter the True Love marketplace or re-subscribe to another year of True Love with their current partner.
This is an issue because if the cost of True Love rises to unsustainable levels it may prevent people from forming any deep attraction to each other since available singles could not afford the items needed to show their appropriate levels of attraction. This could lead to a population decline and may pop the engagement ring and overpriced flower economy bubble that True Love has been fueling.
The levels of attraction are usually rated on a scale tied to the value of the U.S. Dollar with the highest levels of attraction going for more than the cost of a private yacht or jet.
Chad Bowlers is the CEO of Hallmark, Inc., a popular greeting card company. “If people can’t afford high levels of attraction, how are they ever going to find their True Love? This is a tragedy for the poor bachelors and old maids who don’t make millions of dollars annually.” Bowlers has pledged to reduce the cost of their most romantic cards but says that may be a self defeating initiative. “It puts the card lower on the attraction level,” he says, “so it ends up not promoting True Love at all because every slob bachelor can afford it.”
Megan Crawford, the marketing director of Match.com, claims that women are infatuated with men who make at least six figures. “True Love blossoms more quickly in a cash rich environment. If you are cash strapped bachelor then the only hope you have is a casual aquaintance leading to a relationship based solely on metaphysical properties that can’t be measured with expensive trinkets. As any marketing firm will tell you, True Love isn’t love if it can’t even afford a $300 wheelbarrow load of roses.”
Jack Wesley is an eligible bachelor who has an interest in who he feels is an attractive woman but can’t afford anything that even registers on the levels of attraction scale. “I have this warm, fuzzy feeling inside of me that makes me wants to be with her and her only the rest of my life. I would do anything for her since she’s so special to me.” Jack, however, can’t afford the appropiate tokens of affection due to the recent spike in attraction costs. “I can’t afford the rubies and diamonds that is True Love.” Jack complains that all he can offer is a wilted gas station rose and an “undying affection along with selfless acts of kindness” to show his barely registering level of attraction. Jack says he is hopeful. “Someday I hope to save enough money to buy the True Love I’ve always wanted.”