Monster Energy Unveils New Syringe Energy Shots

Seen here is a Monster Energy Shotz syringe as unveiled at the press conference on Friday. This syringe is a pre-production issue and doesn't have any solution in it. The production syringes will be sold ready to inject.
Seen here is a Monster Energy Shotz syringe as unveiled at the press conference on Friday. This syringe is a pre-production issue and doesn’t have any solution in it. The production syringes will be sold ready to inject.

Monster Energy, one of the leading producers of the popular “energy drinks” available at convenience stores and checkouts everywhere, unveiled on Friday a new energy shot that comes in a single use syringe and will hit the shelves on March 30. The syringe is manufactured out of hyper-hardened glucose, a plastic essentially made from sugar molecules, that will dissolve and become unusable after half an hour easing concerns of critics who said that the product would provide a large influx of dirty needles that people would likely use for illegal drugs.

Mike Darius is the Market Research Director for Monster Energy. He says this new product will revolutionize the energy supplement industry. “Normal mediums for delivering caffeine take about 15 minutes to start taking effect. We found the syringe works almost immediately because it delivers the drug right into the bloodstream.”

The projected price of the energy “shots” will be around $4 a syringe. Darius says they wanted to stay competitive with other sources of caffeine that are currently on the market. “A cup of Starbucks is what most people use as a standard base for what they are willing to pay for their daily habit. We wanted to stay competitive.” The advances in manufacturing in the last several years finally allowed them to mass produce cheap, single use, biodegradable syringes.

Many people, however, say that it’s the social aspect of drinking coffee that gives the bitter drink it’s cultural appeal, not merely the caffeine. Beth Harper is a coffee shop enthusiast. [Related: Starbucks Coffee Aromas Promote Exaggerated Self Worth] “I enjoy hanging out at the coffee shop. It’s not about the coffee as much as the atmosphere.” Others, like Barry Nickles, says it’s about staying awake for him. “I never sleep. I’m always in a hurry. I just hit the drive through so it doesn’t take as long. The syringe idea is awesome. I wouldn’t have to waste my time sipping hot liquid anymore.”

Monster claims that the injected energy shots won’t have the disastrous effects that caffeine on any empty stomach has. “It won’t cause you to run as fast as you can towards any bathroom you can find,” Darius says. “And of course, we’ll offer the syringes in six packs.” He is confident that any reservations people have about injecting themselves in public will fade as the product gains popularity. “We will soon see syringes on every street corner. This is the future of energy supplementation.”

 

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