US Government to Start Issuing Facebook Profile with Each Birth Certificate

Washington, D.C. The Obama Administration plans on issuing a Facebook profile with each birth certificate according to a document released with Friday’s document dump by the federal government. The plan would initiate a Facebook page for each newborn born on American soil although the responsibility of the page would fall into the mother’s hands until the child would turn 13, the lowest age allowed for registered Facebook users. This seems to be the latest in a campaign by the Obama administration to modernize the American’s citizenry experience.

The document claims that the new social media accounts will provide an extra tool for citizens to use since they will be able to sign in to government programs, such as the WIC food program, Medicare, or, using Facebook log in making it easier and more convenient.

healthcare facebook sign in

The document also requires the mother to post at least one photo of the child per year, along with a concise year-in -review summary, in order for the National Security Administration (NSA) to keep tabs on the child’s upbringing which will include the child’s emotional and physical levels of fulfillment. This will help the NSA earmark the children who may fit certain criteria for domestic or foreign terrorists.

The measure would also allow the federal government to keep track of the child’s network of associates further enabling them to track social handicaps which would let them spot potential lawbreakers early on before any infractions occur. This is for “a safer America where surprises like exploding buildings are kept to a minimum.”


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