Thousands of people have allegedly died or suffered catastrophic loss of life, limb, and property after failing to follow a Facebook meme featuring explicit instructions to “Share if you don’t want bad things to happen to you.”
The New York Times reported that the meme first gained viral status after a disgruntled postal worker foolishly neglected to share the meme and got fired from his job mere minutes later while he was still browsing Facebook. He shared the meme shortly after the unfortunate incident with the warning, “I got fired because I didn’t share it. Don’t make my mistake!” Many discerning Facebook users took his advice and rushed to share the meme before disaster could overtake them, creating a social feeding frenzy and spreading the meme all over thousands of people’s walls.I got fired because I didn't share it. Don't make my mistake! Click To Tweet
Thousands, however, apparently ignored the meme, choosing to scroll past it shaking their heads. Hospitals have reported a spike in visitors complaining of unusual and mysterious maladies and many blame the fact that they neglected to do what they knew was right. Some think the incidents are related. Samantha Gingrich is a RN with Houston Emergency. She says, “Many people come in here complaining about weird illnesses and strange things that have been happening to them. The first thing we do is scroll back through their Facebook feed to make sure they didn’t accidentally forget to share a threatening meme.”
Many Facebook users took to the comment section of the meme to express their sincere regret and to warn others of the dangers of ignoring the clear directions laid out in the meme.
Donna G. said, “I was on Facebook mobile while driving to work. I scrolled past this pic and didn’t have time to share. Then I dropped my phone under my brake pedal and drove through two schoolyards and a hospital so that I wouldn’t have to step on my brake pedal and destroy my new phone. PLEASE SHARE THIS!”
Others reported far worse consequences. Eric D. says, “My dear grandmother never even had a Facebook profile so of course she couldn’t share this. She passed away unexpectedly at the age of 96 all because she didn’t share this! PLEASE! Sign your friends up on Facebook then share this so they don’t die! :O”
Churches have also noticed an influx of new patrons due to the religious nature of some memes which threaten that if the meme should be ignored the reader will, at best, suffer eternal discomfort and, at worst, eternal damnation. Edward Nox was a casual churchgoer who now regularly attends his local Catholic church every time the doors are open. “I ignored the warnings which were all over my Facebook feed but I couldn’t sleep at night knowing that there was hell to pay. I sinned by not spreading those manipulating, guilt laced messages to all my friends and little known acquaintances. I will never make that mistake again!” His message of repentance was reinforced by the hundreds of parishioners sitting on hard wooden benches and flicking through Facebook mobile, piously sharing hundreds of threatening memes.
Health officials say that the best defense is a good offense. “Just share everything that comes your way.” Gingrich says, “You can only blame yourself if you don’t share those memes and something bad happens to you.”
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