Study Scientifically Proves Woman Love Bald Men

The hair regrowth industry rakes in billions of dollars a year convincing men that women want their potential mates to have heads full of curly locks but a new study has scientifically proven that this assumption is false.

The Proctor & Gamble study took 500 male participants, paid them vast sums of cash, then tracked their every hair follicle for over two years. The study took the subjects, some of whom were suffering hair loss and some who weren’t, and presented them every several months to various groups of women of all different ages. The women were interviewed on which men they would consider as potential partners and rated the men on a scale of 1 to 3. Nearly every time, women found the baldest men to be the most attractive. In fact, nearly 3.75 out of every 5 woman found themselves choosing the bald men over their curly haired counterparts.

Hector Riverias is a research partner with Proctor & Gamble who has been studying male pattern baldness for over twenty years. “When we saw the results our hairs stood on end, it’s just one of those moments where science uproots the assumptions. The reason woman love bald men is unclear but we have several ideas since we’ve been going over the data with a fine tooth comb.” One theory is that bald men have learned to be more confident in their character than their looks but more likely, Riverias says, is that women can see their reflection in the man’s head. “Let’s face it, women like looking at themselves. When women can see themselves in the head of a man, that’s a major confidence booster. They like having that guy around.”

We took to the streets of downtown Lancaster to see which way the public parted on the issue.

Jessica is a wife of a bald man who says she loves her husband, even though he’s bald. “If I need to redo some makeup I just have him lean over so I can use his head as a mirror. It’s great!” Others were not as sure. “I just bought a mirror. It’s way easier than finding a good bald guy and I don’t have to keep it waxed so it’s usable,” says Donna B. Brooke S. took a different route and bought a Hairless Chinese Crested puppy. “It never leaves the toilet seat up.” Regardless of their affection for the bald afflicted, the consensus seemed to be that a man with a reflective head certainly would prove to be a useful commodity.

The new revelations hasn’t gone unnoticed in the marketing world. Build-A-Bear, the nations biggest Teddy bear manufacturer, has announced their intention to start selling bald bears and Gillette, giving up on convincing men to shave, has turned their marketing to those who wish to get rid of their ugly, messy hairdo’s.

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