Man Frustrated After Kite Flying Attempt Ends A Category Five Hurricane

Grenada, West Indies. A man is credited for putting an abrupt stop to Hurricane Desmond, a category five hurricane that was on the verge of overtaking the small tropical island, by trying to fly a small red kite he had found in his garage.

Jauque Marcuse was reportedly struck with an inspiration as he was boarding up his windows in preparation for the massive storm that was to make landfall in less than 24 hours. In an interview with the local television station Marcuse said, “I found a little red kite in the back of the garage while looking for a box of nails and thought I’d take advantage of the 100 mph hour winds that were screaming across the island. I was like, what better time to fly a kite?”

Marcuse had recently tried to the fly the kite with his nephew and found the wind died the instant the kite would rise ten feet above his head which made kite flying an exhausting exercise in futility. “I thought, with these winds I can’t help but be successful this time. It probably wasn’t smart going out in a storm like that but I guess I had some pent up frustration and knew that if I ever wanted to fly a kite, now was the time.”

Marcuse tied a rope to his house and attached the other end around his waist, just in case he lost footing in the 100 mph winds. He crawled on his hands and knees into a clear area of his yard – dodging trees, trash cans, and small sedans being blown about by the wind.

Marcuse slowly struggled to turn himself over on his back so he could launch the kite. The winds were so extreme that it ripped the clothing off of his back. Naked and shivering, Marcuse didn’t give up. He eventually straddled a tree trunk with his legs and managed to get into a position where he could use his hands to launch the kite. His ear drums were damaged from the extreme air pressure changes and his skin was burnt from the sand the wind and picked up. However, Marcuse said he assumed it would all be worth it if he could just see his little red kite dancing in the breeze. But he claims the instant he let go of his little red kite, the wind died instantly, never to come back again. “I hate kites. You might as well buy yourself a vacation home in the tropics if you want to see the wind toss something around in the sky.”

While Marcuse was visibly frustrated, the island has regarded him as a local hero. Local emergency officials are recommending that every homeowner should buy a little red kite to keep in the garage in case of unexpected high winds. “A brand new red kite and a high sense of expectation of flying it are the best defense against any sort of hurricane or natural catastrophe that includes stiff breezes.”

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